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As I had discovered the man that I had married was not completely honest - surprise, surprise! Only after everything was all over did I discover to what extent his betrayal actually was.
From the time we had even been dating there was always someone else. My ex’s choices were young girls - girls that he picked up from his place of work, but anything female he would take to. My appearance is childlike, tiny and petite, just the way he likes them. I was used as a type of cover to help keep his dirty little secret, make him look respectable towards his family, work colleague’s and friends.That on the surface everything was “normal” !Ha!
Life was miserable at home with everything that had occurred, and was all controlled by him. Fights occurred regularly, violent and very mentally abusive. Nothing I did was right, but it couldn’t be! How would he be able to pick up his next victim if we had a happy life?! Having a bad marriage is the pick up line.
Only once my family & friends who helped me escape from him, did more “truths” come out about his nature, and what he had really been up to. I was in our head office, which my partner and I both worked at, but in different sections. yes" This day I was told about “the baby”! We were separated at the time, but this day I happened to say I was divorced. The other employee and friend of my husband said, “Was that because of the baby?”Well, I nearly fell off my chair, jaw dropped and a shake of the head – had I heard correctly. He went on and told me more - the sad thing was I did know about this young girl. She was only 14 years old and was pregnant. There were big discussions on how to handle the situation with the
managers, as my partner had told me. Alas, he did not tell me the whole truth.He had substituted parts of the story! I was told the part-time manager had been the father of this particular young girl, not that it was him. So, I was supposedly getting all the information, but the most important part!
I always had suspected about what was going on, but could not prove it and probably did not want to believe. The man I fell in love with was such a deviant - not the man I married. As we learn there is always an excellent lie to go with the excuse. Your head is put in such a spin that you don’t know what direction to go in.
My lesson is believe in your gut feeling, those phone numbers that you find in his pockets, fights caused for no reason, put downs about yourself, strange phone calls at night saying “it’s work” and amazing stories that you think can’t be true.Well there not! He is seeing someone else. If someone lie’s a little, they will lie a lot! The horrible thing is when you are in love – you a blind, deaf and dumb.This story was just the tip of the ice-burg.
Visit: http://www.catch-a-cheating-wife.com
Cheating Stories.
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At age seven months in the womb, humans begin language coordination in response to what they hear through the mother’s belly wall. Some 52 muscles learn to respond to the various phonemes (a basic language sound like 'b' in boy and 'm' in man) of the language surrounding that belly. There are also studies showing that the emotional state of the parent imprints as do things like music and other environmental conditions. Nutrition, drug use and pollution spill right through directly to the fetus via the placenta and umbilical cord. Parenting begins way before the bassinet.Html Publisher
At eighteen months, the child has a brain 1/3 the size of an adult but the same number of neural connections. These connections are called synapses and relay information – outgoing from the nerve cell through axons, ingoing by way of dendrites. It is the number of connections of nerve cells that relates to intelligence, not the number of neurons.
As the brain grows, by age 6 we have about five times the neural connections we do as adults. These trillions upon trillions of connections are there waiting to be imprinted by the environment, parents and society. This is probably the reason, some 2000 years ago, the church started the sacraments at ages 6 or 7. (It is remarkable how so many 'new' scientific discoveries were anticipated by the intuitive traditions of, what we believe to be, unsophisticated minds of the past.) Beginning at about age 12, the fatty myelin sheath covering connecting neuronal tendrils not used, are literally dissolved, absorbed into the cerebrospinal fluid. Thus 80% of the neural brain mass present at age 6 is gone by age 14 as a result of disuse. Further belittling is the fact that of the remaining 20% of the brain, we only use 5%. That means, of our full potential, we only use about 1%! (For evolutionary materialists out there, please explain to me how something as complex as a brain – infinitely more complex than anything humans have ever invented – developed so that 80% of it could dissolve and 95% of what remains go unused.)
This 'devolution' of the brain applies to the neocortex, that big part of the brain with all the folds and grooves that humans are so proud of because that's where all our smarts (are supposed to) come from. The more 'primitive' parts of the brain, the 'reptilian' brainstem and limbic systems responsible for stimulus-response sorts of actions and emotion-cognition, remain intact and do not experience this loss. In other words, our ability for 'fight-flight' (running from predators), self-awareness (me, I, look at me), sex (fun stuff and children hatching), eating (wouldn't want to miss that) and road rage (essential in modern living) are never at risk, just our ability to be intelligent about all that base reptilian stuff is.
Nothing new here, right? Is it not clear which parts of the human brain are in full function today? Just watch a little television, listen to 'with it' music, go to some movies and pick up some of the tabloids at the grocery counter and you'll see the human brain stem has suffered no melt-down. But that 3-pound blob on top of it, the seat of intelligence, is evidently just filling up space.
What is primarily responsible for making and holding neural connections is not what we can beat into our kids with rules, instructions and performance pressures, but what they experience around them. At least 95% of the imprinting a child receives, neither the child nor the parents are aware of. Who we are emotionally, ethically and intellectually at our core in our day-to-day routines as parents – not what we pretend or preach – is picked up by the child as its most important lessons and is then 'neural connected.' So telling a child to be something we are not doesn't work. If we want better children, then we must be better people.
This also speaks to the importance of a loving and nurturing family nest. We learn love, in large part, by experiencing it. The erosion of the family in our libertine society thrusts the child into a peer group for imprinting. This begins with technological births in hospital wards, then continues with isolating infants in their own bedrooms, pseudofood in bottles with nipples, television, day-care, broken homes and on to public schooling…you know, the 'modern' way to rear kids. The premature unfolding of development is accelerated through exposure to adult themes pressing in from everywhere in our society. Menstruation is beginning in 8-year-old girls (partly the result of hormone-type pollutants in food), there is an outbreak of pregnancies in 9-year-olds, and violent sex crimes among children under the age of 10 are becoming common. Children are being thrust into full operational adult thinking way before they are capable of handling it properly. That is why some 70% of teenagers are functionally illiterate: they may be able to learn, but cannot grant meaning. They have not been properly imprinted, don't have sufficient life experience for context and don't have the neural connections.
So yes, the home, family and parents are responsible for the development of children. On the other hand, there is a lot of nature involved too. Any parent raising a child into adulthood will see that the child at 40 is pretty much identical to the child in earliest infancy. So don't be too quick to blame yourself for a child gone bad. Don't spend your fortune in therapy either, whining about how your parents didn't love you. We can lose important neural connections in childhood but once you realize who you are – very early in childhood – the ball is ultimately in your court. There are people with essentially no brain in their skull (compressed to a thin membrane from hydrocephalus) who excel intellectually and ethically. So, as an adult, buck up, take responsibility for yourself and make good use of the neural connections remaining. That's in your court. You are not a victim.
But the present circumstances for children are a peculiar situation with no historical precedent. There is no solution other than for the adults to not be distracted by the veneer of civilization, its glamour of modernity, and its amoral and libertine pressures. Even though we are left with 1% of our mental potential, we can make a lot of good use of that. It means reaching inside for the goodness that is there in our hearts and extending that to our fellow humans. It means not following the conscience of others but learning what is already within and being true to it. Children don't need money, videos, signature shoes and pressure for grades and sports performance. The inner needs of children don't care about being raised in a pigpen so long as there is love. If that critical emotional relationship is not there, children will seek it in peers, including the perverted, money grubbing, media models. Then we have the ethically blind (other children, brainless idols and profiteering media) leading our blind children. This is the proper incubator for the adults of the future? What then, particularly when everyone has been indoctrinated into thinking they are victims and any failure in life is the fault of somebody else? What a formula for the collapse of society!
The answer is that greatest of all intelligences, love. That is not a platitude. Love requires an expansive and wise mind. Even with the puny 1% of our brain that we use, the capacity for love is infinite. In the end, what else really matters anyway? In the process, by being a person of goodness and reaching out in this way to others, we become the perfect model for the development of a loving and well-adjusted child. And hardly a word needs to be spoken in the process.
About the Author: Dr. Wysong: A former veterinary clinician and surgeon, college instructor in human anatomy, physiology and the origin of life, inventor of numerous medical, surgical, nutritional, athletic and fitness products and devices, research director for the present company by his name and founder of the philanthropic Wysong Institute. http://www.wysong.net
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My Dear Lover,Html Publisher
Soon or later, you and your beloved will have to take the decision of who should move, because it is very hard to live apart.
Moving will change your life drastically, you should what you and beloved really wants from life, you need to communicate, communicate and communicate until you arrive to a very clear understanding about your expectations, It is your future.
Here are some questions to help you make the decision. Will you have to "give up" of your domestic animals? Does your beloved love having cats, dogs, birds, etc. at home?
Any of you already have children? How well will they accept living together, now as a new family? There are good schools for them in the new place? They like the new place? How about their friends, they accept being apart from them? Can they keep their current activities, like sport, etc. in the new place?
Are you moving far away from your family? If you are a kind of person that is very close to your family, it will be very hard not. to be with them so often. Maybe your parents are "old" and need your assistance. You have the right to build your life, your happiness, your love, but I think it isn't fair to leave your parents alone most of the time, when they most need your help. And if you already have children, can they live far away from their actual family? They are willing to have a new family?
If you are divorced and your ex lives near to you, will he accept your new mate? After all he comes from "nowhere", and almost from one day to another, he is already living with you.Of course you can't let your ex be the main reason for you to live your life, where you want, and with who you want, but if your ex is a kind of person that don't accept that you have a new mate, you need to be prepared to deal with that.
Can you live in the new area, possibly, for the rest of your life? Do you like the weather? The culture? If you are an urban lover and will move to a rural area, can you live with that, or will you miss the urban live too much?If you are a kind of person that can adapt very easy to new environments, this is no problem at all, but if you are not, and decide to move, you will need all the help, understanding and support from your beloved, for the more "difficult" phases, be aware that he knows that. Do you really know the new area, or you have been there before, only for a couple of weeks in romantic holidays? Try to know better the new area, if you can spend more time there and not. only when both of you are in holidays, before you move forever.
God forgive me, but if things don't go well between you, and you decide to you should end your relation, after you move, will you come back to your old home, or will you live in the new area? Can you live there, without the support of your family and old friends? It will be a very difficult time for you.
Well, with all these questions, it might seem to you, that this is a very difficult decision to make.It is a big decision that will change your life forever, you need to be very clear about your expectations.
But my most important advice to you is to listen to your heart. True love is so precious and can overcome any difficult.
Don't measure the distance, measure the Love, Maria Madeira.
About the Author: P.S.: Being in a long distance relationship since 2003, Maria Madeira share her advices, her experiences, her help, teaching how to survive a long distance love. Join to "Long Distance Love Help" newsletter now. It's a heart to heart ezine that will help you in so many ways! http://www.distancelovinghelp.com
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We always hear about communication being the key in a relationship. If we are always talking and not listening, then communication becomes meaningless.
It’s not easy to hear what someone else is saying, especially when our feelings, thoughts and opinions are different. Here are three reasons why learning to listen benefits our relationships.
1. Shows Respect – When having a discussion, listening to the other person shows that you respect what they are saying. Even if we disagree with what’s being said, we still need to respect their thoughts and feelings.
2. Helps Us To Understand – It’s difficult to understand what someone is trying to tell us if we aren’t listening. Listening helps to understand why someone is feeling a certain way. Once we understand, we can move forward with the situation and take the steps needed.
3. Helps To Be Approachable – In relationships, it’s important for someone to feel they can to talk to us about anything. Learning to listen can help others feel comfortable approaching us any time they need or want to discuss something. We are likely to have a more open and healthy relationship if we are approachable.
We want others to respect, understand and be approachable to us right? Work on learning to listen and watch your relationship grow in positive ways.
About the Author: I Reside in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania. Stay at home mom,work at home mom, author and editor of Informing Women Newsletter and owner of http://www.informingwomen.com Author of Advice from an Ordinary Woman column for the Crescent Hills NewsLetter. Have articles published at todayshint.com , cleaningfacts.com and other various websites.
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